I had no choice but to hear you You stated your case time and again I thought about it
You treat me like I'm a princess I'm not used to liking that You ask how my day was
You've already won me over in spite of me Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are I couldn't help it It's all your fault
Your love is sick and it swallowed me whole You're so much braver than I gave you credit for That's not lip service
You are the bearer of unconditional things You held your breath and the door for me Thanks for your patience
You're the best listener that I've ever met You're my best friend Best friend with benefits What took me so long
And I've never felt this healthy before And I've never wanted something rational And I am aware now And I am aware now
How long will it take me to recover from the doink food poisoning? *Groans* And I have some coughings before the food poisoning. Now it's getting worst. I can feel that my lungs aren't clear.
Aaaanndd, since I didnt go to school today, I went to pick up my sis from school but it was raining super heavily. I shaded her with the umbrella, make sure she's not wet, but end up myself was wet like I just came out from a pool? Now, I'm sneezing like crazy. Pfft.
Extremely cold. I hope I wont get fever tomorrow. Shoo, sickness. Exams are coming real soon. I wanna go for examinations healthily. =S
Btw, something surpassingly schizophrenic happened. Maniac maniac maniac. We'll probably be maniacs too after all this. Hahahaha. =.="'
See, why did the hell I use the words schizophrenic and maniac. =/
YOU MAY NOT WANNA READ ANY OF THESE AND SPOIL YOUR OWN MOOD. I just need a place to let me grumble everything out, well, almost everything.
I did whatever could. I did my very best. All those scoldings, I've learned to just bear it and view it in another way. But, all I wish is, please take my efforts seriously.
I dont like it when people think if they have financial problems, I sure can come to rescue. Excuse me, mind you. My dad has to work freaking hard for every single cent of money.
And I save my money like it's oh-so-precious, and you think I could just spend it all so easily?
Who's there to pay back to my dad when I'm not spending it for my own needs? I bear it. But no one can just understand.
I dont like it when people say "your family eat 'holiao' ". "Need to use phone, is it? Use Amanda's". "Ask Amanda to treat" etc etc.
HELLO? Mind you all? I'm not any billionaire's daughter!
And we spent our time, used our efforts on soooo many stuffs, and no one really appreciates.
Today, I was already very pissed, in school. I finally calmed myself after half an hour. Thinking maybe dad would understand this time and wouldnt blame me, thinking he will appreciate my effortsof trying to be an outstanding one, to be a better one.
But when I got home, I was scolded. The phone bill came today and dad is really angry.
Now my bill have went up to 600 something, after all the callings. Where to claim?
YOU TELL ME, why am I the one spending all these money so that everyone can get to pay a cheaper price??
Why should I sacrifice all these? I've sacrified my pride, my time, my sleep, my everything. But money is not the thing I can sacrifice, because it is not mine, in exact. It's my dad's hard work!
Left you by the phone at half past three Now it's quarter to, you're not to be seen Last I saw your face was ten hours gone And suddenly you're sorry, it's my fault for giving in
You will never love the way you know You will never love the way you show
Yeah I go back to you, every chance I get No matter how soft my skin is From the last time you dug real deep My bones are shaking and I can't do this anymore And I need to stop missing you I can't fix us two
Left you by my heart now it's ruined red I should have said how mad I really was Told you how I felt but now it's dark Now go to sleep upset, didn't tell you what I meant
Will we part our ways it's hard to say We've come too far to say we just can't stay Seems we'll always be two And I'll never quite get you
This morning was school graduation ceremony. We as band members of course have to perform.
So dang sleepy while we had to sit there for like 2 hours to wait to play again and everyone was so hungry. Anyway, it was so funny and it wasnt that bad after all. We get to see weird stuffs. lol.
For most, teacher danced while Pn Chan requested us to play Mamma Mia. Haha, and the all the students were so funny. After we finished our Mamma Mia, Pn Chan asked whether they wanna listen to the chinese orchestra and they said NO!! LOL!
Then, they requested Pn Chan to sing and she sang. OMG. But her singing wasnt bad. Haha.
After all the performances, we took loadsa loadsa pictures. And some post-pics with trophies. *It's all up in my facebook* =)
Then we percussion did some silly stuffs.
Phoographed by Am's
Jing Ning, Nan Rou, Me and Li Nee. Credits to Jia Yi.
Jia Yi, Gaik Sean and Nan Rou Photographed by Am's.
Percussion. Credits to Elaine.
After that, went Gurney with Ai Ling and Shuen Yee. Lol. We searched up and down, whole Gurney to find something which is suitable. We went to men's department and you cannot believe how all the salesperson looked at us. =.="' We were kidding and said dont know what to buy for papa, and mama should have come.
We couldnt find it, then we searched for other items. Cheap enough. Yay! We finally bought everything we need except one.
We went back to the men's department again, and people stared at us again. So hard to choose and we've no choice. Shuen Yee came up with we're buying gifts for papa. Laughed die us. Hahaha.
But at last, with this papa-plan, we successfully completed our assignments of the day. ;D
More pics.
The form 4s and Jocelyn. Credits to Jia Mei.
Gim Min, Su Cin and I. Credits to Ee Kim. Elaine an I. Credits to Ee Kim.
Yi Wen and I. Credits to Jia Mei. For more, view it on my facebook. Under Graduation Day album. =)
Can you imagine gastric plus food poisoning? It's killing my stomach. Wth. How am I gonna perform tomorrow? =.=
I havent eat the school's tom yam noodles since they first started selling it cuz it's prepared by the wan tan noodles hawkers. And I dont like that stall cuz to me, the way they prepare the food is so dirty.
But then, yesterday, with an empty stomach and feeling like eating tom yam, I bought the tom yam noodles and ate it with all the percussionists. Then, I was too busy and forgotten to eat after that. So, I had gastric pain.
By night, I've food poisoning. =/ Came back from school early today cuz I couldnt stand anymore. The other girls has no problem at all. Sheesh.
Mum kinda scolded me for being so careless. Cuz I knew I have a sensitive and weak stomach, I shouldnt skip meals or have improper meals. I shouldnt eat food that I know it is not prepared properly.
You know, as a mother, she would go all her naggings but she still care and make sure I eat my medicine. Hahahaha.
Me, Amanda has officially went crazy today. I mean really crazy.
I was so frustrated with some thingies, and I was counting papers with Shuen Yee, Laurine, Joella, Ai Ling and so. Then, the papers had extras, so wrong, so weird. And I was too tired and I couldnt think of the correct way to count the cut papers back to a pack of 450 pieces of blank A4 papers.
I think, somehow we had some misunderstandings on the pages of paper or something like that. And I really cant stand anymore, I seriously went crazy.
I laughed like a mad, crazy person, non stop, and for no reason. I laughed and laughed and laughed, and tears dropped too. =(
Then, I successfully stopped after quite a while. =/
Joella said I need a phycologist. I think I really need one. o.o
It's already been like a month since I started getting busy.
It's already a week for me to do these everyday: wakes very early and sleep late, thinks 24 hours, getting new assignments, meeting new and different personalities of peoples, flipping through books and couldnt study, fell asleep in class, and so on, you name it.
Sobs, I need a good sleep, not a good rest. I have gastric today, FINALLY, after a couple of days of having improper meals. Not eating at the right time at all! Sobs, it hurts so much. =(
And, I may be really bad and evil at times these few days. I've very bad thoughts. Yes, just thoughts, I've never said anything, actually. Besides, actually it's so-so lah, not very bad, just I think it is very bad. Sorry?
Feels like having a good cry. Who can understand my feelings, my plight? However, if crying can solve problems, then the world has long been peaceful.
Forget about it, doesnt feel good at all, do not give me anymore troubles. I am getting crazy.
Shed of tears rolled in my eyes today, but I struggled and hold it in.
I realized I've learned to extend patience, yay! And I've learned to be more considerate, yipee! I've learned to not lose temper so easily anymore, woohoo!
Okay, but I really cannot stand being fooled and being a puppet. =/
And and, everyone knows my personalities. And you're so freaking lucky that I've never say anything I dont like about you to you before. So you better darn appreciate it and stop your excess-thinking and weird-thinking on all of us. And mind you, please think before you show me your dang face and attitude. Do I have to freaking tahan everyone's "complexion"?
You're not the world. I am not the world.
We are the world, and that's why we have to have mutual understanding.
Oh well, you cant imagine how busy I am everyday til I felt like banging my head. I am so freaking busy that I am so so so busy til I always lost my mind. =S
If you didnt know, I was always someone who can remember stuffs people said or conversations very easily and like, forever. Notice I used 'was'? Cuz, I now have quite bad memory, for a month already.
Like, Laurine just told me something 10 minutes ago and I would turn to her and ask, what is it again? Or, if you agree with me, I think I have dementia. O.O Okay, maybe not those serious dementia, but I really feel like an old woman who has dementia.
I would walk to the office, wanted to see a teacher and I knew what I wanted to say very clearly. But the minute I reach the office, I was asking myself, what was the question I wanted to ask already? =.="' See.. I felt like hitting myself so badly that moment.
Or, I even forgotten that I've taken my meals. Or the other way around, I forgot to eat. =/
Both physically and mentally BUSY is such a terrible thing. Busy moving around doing stuffs, mind is thinking 24/7. My mind thinks so much that even in my dreams, I dreamed stuff related to what I had to think.
And I feel so tired, waking at 7 for many days and sleeps after 12. So tired everyday that I fell asleep during classes, not on purpose. Sorry teachers! I fell asleep unknowingly for a couple of times already. =(
I need those strengths to study! 12 more days to final exam! Sheesh! =/
Band girls, here's the pics I took last Saturday, requested by teacher.
I know, it's very ugly. I mean my work. =/ Cuz I couldnt find any nice angles in band room, it's either too high or too low, or ugly background. =S I cannot believe this pictures will be stick up on board together with all the other achievements of schools to let the school's directors and VIPs to view it this Saturday.
That's why I dont like taking pictures when the feeling doesnt come at that moment. The work will just never be nice, no matter how much knowledge I've put into it. Eek!
I was viewing blogs, searching for manufacturers and so. Then I happened to found these at Anthony's,
We took this at last Monday during additional maths class.
Can you spot me? Haha.
Anthony arranged all the guys sitting on the chairs and Laurine and I thought we'll stand at the back. But instead, Anthony told us to sit beside his seat. Laurine and I were so shocked, we were like, WHAT? OH MY GOD! And we were stunned til too quiet. Then we were so weird that we kept look at each other and say oh my god. Or, unbelievable. =.="'
After a few shots, time to change seats, and finally Laurine and I are back to normal. LOL.
He wants us to look the fan on the right, but the effect is kinda weird here.
Can you believe it, I ate half liter of Bulla's mango yoghurt ice cream in one shot and all by myself. I'm seriously gonna be so fat. Even though it's stated that it's 97% free, but I doubt if I wouldnt put on a lot of weight.
And people kept telling me that I should eat more. Ain't first time anymore. According to these people, I'm still too skinny. Like, WHAT?! I've put on a lot of weight this year, y'know? Even random people like, teachers would say so too. =.=
I can see fat starting to grow on me. I should be on diet soon before I gets really fat and would be even lazier to move and I doubt my bone can support me either. Hahaha.
*I must have sound very insane*
;D I look weird with spec, right? See, I am really getting FAT. *winks
I had a hair cut on Wednesday morning. And I seriously wanna kill that hairstylist!
She cut it so short so short so so short. Excuse me, my hair was like so long that I can tie it all up so so long but you straight chop it all off. I was in so dang good mood that I wouldnt wanna make a scene there and have a fuss on you.
She cut everything except my fringe, weird. It took me so many months to keep the so called sideburns til a desired length. And now, it's all chopped til above chin height. *Cries*
And dang the school, they didnt even check our hairs during assembly. I shouldnt have cut it, since we're gonna have exams and then it's holiday. Sheesh. Then I couldnt have longer than shoulder length hair by December. =(
Now I look like a kiddo. I mean seriously, I look like a form 1 kid. And Mr Wilson even said I looked like a little girl standing in front of him when I went to asked him some stuffs. OMG! Even the form 2s are bullying me. Boohoo. I no longer look like the well-know-me-mature-me.
I want my hair back. Now it's hideous, and it's in a very weird shape, and it's so short. =((
Just finish studying. After dinner, I started to have revision and stopped around 30 minutes ago. Which means I studied for two hours plus without going to the washroom or finding chocs ro snack on. Yipee! Sat for so long til having backache now. =.=
Extremely unbelievable that I studied for so long. =/
Two and a half weeks more til last term exam. ARGH! Got our exam timetable today and realized that have 3 papers for every science subjects. OMG! Have 19 papers to take. Blaaaahh...
Can you believe it? I've been hoping that Igudesman & Joo would at least come to some countries which is near to ours, like, maybe Singapore or whatsoever.
But guess what, I was flipping through dad's BMW white card member privilege thingy. Cuz we always get to have cheaper prices on MPO performances in Petronas Philharmonic Hall, so I was trying to see what performances they have this time, and... I saw Igudesman & Joo "A Little Nightmare Music".
I was like, OMG! =p It's on 17 November, which is next month. And I thought I have exam on that day but after checking my calendar, I was like OMG OMG. YAY! Haha. Cuz it's after the exam. And mum really likes Igudesman & Joo too. Now, we shall persuade dad, but dad never seems to really like concerts. =(
Now, anyone wanna tag along? ; ) Or bring me go! =p
Feels... both mentally and physically breathless, exhausted, tired and pain. =.="'
Dang the backbone, esp lumbar and pelvic regions. =S Causing knees and legs pain. And due to improper meals, I'm having crappy stomach again.
I'm getting older, maybe? Hahaa. I'm so freaking lazy to move at all. I shall have one week off, be a piggy and stays in bed for the 168 hours, 10080 minutes, 604800 seconds. Buuuut, only if I can. Boohoo.
I was absent from school yesterday, again. Cuz my eye twitched and irritates a lot a lot til mum decided to bring me to see a doctor after so many days.
The doctor used some blue and white light to shine at my eyes, put some colour tester drops into my eye and soon mum saw the differences too.
On my left eye, it's normal and nice. But on the right side, it's like glass shattered all over my eye. But of course, without the lights and droplets, you cant see the differences by eyes.
My eye was scratched by the new hard lense contact lenses recommended by the optician but is not suitable for me.
Of course he needed to treat my eye but he flipped my eyelids open up wide wihout acknowledging me. Frightened me. =/ He pushed a stick info my eye and then another thing and it's done. =o
He made me throw away my contact lenses and wear specs before the eye fully recover. I still have a blur eyesight on my right eye. And it kinda hurta every and then but better.
But thank God! I could have had infection if I continue assuming it was dust and continue wearing contact lenses and dont consult a doctor. Infection will leads to blindness..
First, it was the lenses that hurt my right eye a lot. Made my eye twitched non stop. It comes and goes.
Secondly, I somehow hurt my arms and the muscles suddenly expanded. =.="' Then, dont know how, I had aches on shoulders too.
Third, dang the cramps and muscle aches. I seriously torn my legs muscles. Not the usual kinda tearing muscle cuz I can still stand that. But, this time, it torn so much that I can hardly move my legs with using my calf muscles. I'm walking like I dont have knees. I'm walking like impaired people. =/
Hopes my legs faster recover! So that I can dont needa drag my legs everywhere I go and not like an old woman that hardly move.
The October month seems like abundant-October. =/ I've like a lot a lot a lot of stuffs on my to-do-list. WTH. And usually October is my lazy month. Yikes.
In October, I've to study, study and study. Just because of the final exam is 5 weeks ahead and I have 11 subjects to study.
Total of 23 chapters, which is 118 sub topics on physics, chemistry and biology only! I have 10 chapters of history, which is 272 pages to memorize. That's excluding all the literature on English, Chinese and all the stupid nilai, perwatakan, persoalan and so on, for Malay. 11 chapters of maths and another 11 chapters of additional maths to revise. And the moral values definitions, the chinese ming ju.
Seriously, I'll be crazy! I may be able to finish reading all but I dont think I can memorize that much. I dont even know where should I start to study. =.="'
Other than studies, there's performances, then soon there's drama stuff. =.= Then, I'll be needing to take up piano lessons again. Boohoo. No choice. After the 2++ weeks of the final exams, it's holiday. But, holiday equals no holiday. Cuz holiday starts at end of November. 1 week and it is December already.
December is another busy month. Plus dad wanted to travel. Activities clashing, bang!
I've no idea how shall I schedule my time again. Plus I've lost my sense of time recently. =(
Can I just hire someone to plan my schedule for me? =p
And I'm already talking like a crazy woman. Hahaha.
It's already 1st October. Dang. I've wasted my one week Raya break, which is last week, on some so called "useful" stuff.
I actually wanted to study. Yeah, I wanted to do the add maths exercises, I wanted to read up Biology and history. Unbelievable, ay? But guessed what, I didnt even touch a book since school ended on Friday.
Back to school since Monday, tried to listen to Biology lessons. Cells, cells and more cells, bored me out. =.="' History is still about all those Islamic stuff and I'm quite sick of it. =S No one listens to Chemistry lessons anymore. I like Chemistry a lot but nobody can just understand what the teacher is teaching about.
Do you know that obeying her rules of keep-quiet-no sound-not-paying-attention-is-okay will kill our brain cells? And time will pass extremely slow. Today, Laurine and I decided to not shut up for once, and talked as much as we like. =p You wont believe what we have talked about and it was like 20 minutes only but we have sat there for like an hour. Hahaa. Nice one.
And somehow, Laurine said she thinks and believes that I will be single for a very long time. Yes, I believe so. Secondly, she said I'll be like some kinda strong woman on career. HAHAHA. That made me laughed so hard.
Maybe, perhaps, her guesses and prediction will come true? Haha. Who knows? It's the future.
p.s. Dad said he wanna bring us to Japan in October! Praying hard, hopes it come true. ; ) I wanna go Japan again so badly.
Short the name, Am`s.
Plays the piano and percussion.
Loves instrumental, jazz and classical.
Likes to read. Fond of hugs.
Loves family and friends.
Call me being eccentric, but I've quite an aversion to liquor and abhor smoking.
Peace ; )
*Psst! I always either forgot or lazy to tag labels on every entry. So do excuse me if you cant stuffs under some labels.* =)
` More Lomo Cameras
` Learn another language; Korean?
` Get income :/
` New piano seriously.
` Vacations; Visit an Europe country
` A long break from everything
