i saw unexpected things.
i saw some people's very very real side.
i saw what i shouldnt see in nowadays.
such situations, things like that shouldnt appear.
but it appeared.
i was very disappointed.
i AM STILL very disappointed after what i saw TODAY, again.
i hope the two of them really know how to think.
i was surprised to see they........
they made me feel i am worse than i was.
they made me say stuff that i dont plan to let them know.
i thought we know about it is enough.
we dont have to let them know.
it'll just make them loose their confidence and feel sad about it.
but i thought maybe they will think about themself if i tell them about it.
after i said it, they dont.
this is even worse.
whatever i said today, what i saw was, only one of them willing to hear in everything i said.
not that i'm on her side. not that i prefer her than u all.
but she really do listen.
such big differences to the others.
as i said before. many times.
如果每次讲，你都哭，但是你哭了却还是不会反省，那你那些眼泪根本就不值得流下来！
but still, i see you cried and cried.
show me a stronger you, will you?
show me a better you.
show me your best.
i know deep down your heart, there's a willing to learn and to improve you.
fight over the lazy you, fight over the weak you.
and be strong and improve.
i wanna see a better you.
do it before i give up.
will you do it?
to the other one, i dont know what to say.
it's like you're not with us anymore. not part of us.
you're like gone to the other side.
i dont know what should i do.
i tried to bring you back but seem like it didnt work.
my wish:
i wish everyone will do their best and have their heart with us.
be united and very good friends like we all used to be.
have fun together when we should.
and be strict when we should.
we'll go back to the good old us, right?
dont you think so?!
dont give up hope.
i havent give up on anything yet, if i do, i wont be telling you all all those stuff i said.
i havent give up. not a single thing, not a single person, so why should you?
let's do what we should do and find back those pride and make everyone proud again.
yesterday, two XX made me surprised (in a bad kind of surprised) to see they are such person.
and most terrible is, i heard what they said.
i was like waaaah.. you say such stuff argh??
geng lo!!!
today i received a.. um.. sudden?? shocking?? scary??
argh.. i dont know how to describe the feeling.
anyway, i received a news.
it can cause heart attack, y'know?!
lol
after i heard it, it made me feel like throwing out.
felt like vomiting but there's nothing to vomit.
usually, when i have this kinda "vomit case"
it's cause by nervous, shock, scared and etc etc..
i felt like vomiting for a very long time
but didnt throw up, of course.
then calm myself down and thought about it.
should i or shouldnt i?
if i do it this way. it will cause..........
if i do it the other way round, it will cause............
yikes. i'm quite undecidable now. or should i say, VERY??
haih... my very very very last decision for tomorrow will be on the very few last minutes before it starts.
maybe i'll discuss with laurine and maybe she will suggest what i should do?
maybe i'll just see what happens tomorrow and just follow the situations.
~.~
Labels: Blah blah blah.., Daily Life, Feelings/Comment, Friends
