When I was in lower secondary, how I wish I would grow up as soon as possible.

Now I'm in higher secondary, how I wish time could stop, or at least, things are way easier.

Determination is so freaking important that I've determined on what I wanted, on every goal I set for myself every year since the second half of form 1.

But now, all I felt is letting it all go. I cant stand the pressure anymore.

I cant stand the deal I had. Coward perhaps? I cant stand seeing myself being a failure.

But after holding on for almost four years, letting it go now may cause everything go to waste.

I sometimes do think I might be a psycho someday. ><

Dislike the misconceptions people had on me.

Think, I'm not rich, cuz I dont work. I dont have my own income.

I'm not smart. I'm just too lucky whenever it comes to governmental examinations.

Most of all, I dont have a perfect path waiting for me right after high school.

In fact, I dont know what should I do.

So stop implying those very random concepts on me, saying 'aiya, no worries, you're future are all set.' Pfft!

I couldnt stop but think, what am I going to do after high school? It's only 9 months away, in fact less than 9 months, I must get it decided.

Now, I wonder how did the others work theirs out? Were they so indecisive?

I dont know if I should continue on what I wanted.

Most of all, I'm so gonna miss all my friends.

After all, it took me four to five years to make new friends.

Taking another four years after high school, seriously, sucks. By then, I've already finish college? Then it's time to work, starting it all again. Gaah!

Couldnt go to sleep every night, there must be reason, right?

How I wish life could be way easier.